Newz Land

(Wellington NZ – Press) A swathe of land one kilometre wide either side of State Highway One will be torched in a  Transport Ministry move to reduce the impact of scenery on road accidents.

Transport Safety Minister Harry Duynhoven yesterday oversaw the clear-felling and burning of a picturesque native woodland north of Paraparaumu, the first stretch in the government’s planned 3000 kilometre ‘dull zone’ extending the length of the country.

With latest figures suggesting that scenery may have caused as many as 124 crashes last year, officials have been quick to act, with suggested solutions ranging from a giant wall either side of SH1 through to the blacking-out of car windows to prevent the possibility of scenery affecting drivers.

The clear-felling and burning of the 60,000 hectares has proven a good compromise, with further plans for ruining other popular scenic routes and the destruction of distracting sites including the North Island’s central plateau, which will be obscured in the pall of a planned persistent tyre-fire  five kilometres out of Waiouru.

In related news, attractive pedestrians are being asked to stay indoors during the day, with fears they may also cause distractions on our roads. Unattractive people can do whatever.