Newz Land

(Queenstown NZ – Press) Queenstown is unviable, and will shut at the end of October, according to Mayor Clive Geddes.

The town will close with a final send-off on October 28-31, which some are expecting to be the largest festival ever seen in the popular tourist destination.

The announcement comes close on the heels of Toll Holdings’ reprieve for the Overlander train service, which was slated to be withdrawn on September 30 but will now continue, buoyed by intense media coverage and last-minute patronage over the past month.

“We’re sorry, but Queenstown is just not a viable concern anymore,” said Geddes.

“The Queenstown Lakes District Council thought long and hard before making this decision. We consulted our marketing department closely and it really looks like shutting the town is our best option.”

Geddes cites lower tourist numbers over the winter season as the primary reason for the town’s demise. On November 1, council staff will begin tearing up the town’s streets and bulldozing its charming restaurants, cafes and boutiques, as well as the comfortable hotels with their magnificent views over scenic Lake Wakatipu, and close proximity to some of the country’s best skifields.

“Yeah, October will definitely be the last month anyone will be able to ski or snowboard on our amazing slopes, or sip fine wines and beers in our picturesque breweries and wineries. We’re salting the snow and laying poison in the vineyards soon, so people better get here quick, before it’s all gone,” pleaded Geddes, tearfully.
Local businesses are shocked at the move, and have also pleaded with the public and media to experience Queenstown’s unique flavour before it’s too late.

“We’re all going to suffer if… I mean, when the town closes,” said hotel owner Max Westenra.

“Queenstown has down its dash. If only there were some way that record tourist numbers in October could help change the Council’s minds. No, I daren’t even hope for such a reprieve – there’s no way a bunch of news stories and the pity of a previously disinterested public could change the minds of these cold-hearted councillors. No way at all.”

In related news, the Skytower and Sky City Casino in Auckland are due to close in November, and your local may well close later tonight if you don’t spend up large right now.